


The Spaces Between Us (Ziam)

by lewieandharrie (thoseshadowsalmostkilled)



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Sexual Situations, Barebacking, Bottom Zayn, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Cheating, Cheating Zayn, Established Relationship, Established Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Follows Show Schedule, Harry and Niall are barely there, Headcanon, Implied Consent, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Internalized Homophobia, Liam-centric, M/M, Minor Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Non AU, OT5, OTRA tour, Perrie Edwards & Zayn Malik Friendship, Perrie Is A Beard, Pre-Split, Reality, Sexuality Crisis, Takes Place During OTRA Tour, They get back together, Top Liam, Zayn Leaves One Direction, Zayn-centric, Ziam break up, larry is mentioned, zerrie, ziam, zouis friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoseshadowsalmostkilled/pseuds/lewieandharrie
Summary: The lingering question keeps 1D stans up: why did Zayn leave? This story explores one possible “what if” reason.-——————————————————Zayn balances his relationships with Liam and Perrie, whilst going through a sexuality crisis. Liam breaks up with Zayn when he finds out he's actually with Perrie. Melbourne to Cardiff. 111 days. Will Zayn win the love of his life back in time?





	1. Melbourne, February 15th

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fic in 2 years, and i've never written angst before, so bare with me.

**Melbourne Night 2**

 

“ _It was the best song ever…_ ”

Panting, Zayn leaned down and clutched his stomach as the stadium lit up with cheers. He only got a few seconds of rest before the boys gathered around him, pulling him into a hug.

“Good job lads!” Louis shouted, before they separated and moved to leave the stage. Zayn grabbed his water bottle and slowly made his way into the wings, putting Melbourne behind him.

-

Zayn ran his fingers through his long hair, taking a deep breath. The concert tonight had been exhausting, and they had barely made it through the set list in time with all the chatter. He started to pull off his tank, but a hand gripped his shoulder and a strong arm slid around his waist.

Liam kissed behind his ear.

“Hey.” Zayn leaned back into the touch, relaxing for a moment before turning and pressing his lips to the other man’s. Liam’s free hand moved to touch Zayn’s neck, drawing him closer.

“You did great out there tonight Z,” Liam whispered. Zayn’s hands find Liam’s waist, and slip under his thin shirt, his fingers brushing against the small of his back. He sighs, his nose brushing against the strong curve of his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“It was so intense, I hardly made it through.” Liam’s face softened impossibly more.

“I know, me too. But at least we have the rest of the night in a hotel without those cramped tour bunks.” Zayn pulls off, stringing his fingers through Liam’s and resting his head on the boy’s shoulder. Liam lets his head drop and touch Zayn’s for a second, before he’s pulling the two of them forward. They head toward the dressing rooms, the tiredness in their walks palpable.

-

Zayn lifts his arms, his head spinning with fatigue as he lets Liam strip him of the sweat-crusted clothes from the show. His head drops against his bare chest, and he moves forward into Liams’ space, resting against him.

“I can’t wait to get back to our room,” he mutters.

“No funny business, I just want to sleep for the next 14 hours.” Liam wraps him up in a hug, their chests sticking together with the work of the night.

“Okay, just get dressed and let’s take off. I’m sure one of the drivers is already outside.” Liam hands him sweats off the rack, pressing the garment into his limp hand. Zayn slides his legs in, before blindly grabbing at a shirt and pulling it on without looking. He slides to the floor against the wall, pulling his knees up and blearily watching Liam get changed.

-

Liam and Zayn stumble out onto the street behind the venue, scanning for the car. It pulls up next to them a few seconds later, and Liam opens the door as he supports Zayn’s deadweight leaning against him, his eyes fluttering, barely awake. He climbs up and slides over, lifting Zayn with him and pulling the door shut. As the motor rumbles and they pull out of the lot, Liam wraps an arm around his boy and Zayn falls into sleep. A loving smile crosses Liam’s face, and he leans his head back, shutting his eyes to the flashing lights of the city around them. It would be a while to get to the hotel through the traffic, and they could both use some rest.


	2. Between Shows- February 16th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getting to know some of the characters!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has larry, so if you don't want that, skip it. 
> 
> -  
> Enjoy!

**After an interview, roughly 4pm**

Liam honestly just wanted to go to the bathroom. They had finished co-hosting a talk show promoting the next leg of their tour a few minutes prior, and now the interviewer wouldn’t let him be. His head was beginning to hurt from how hard he was tuning out the man while attempting to find the damn door so he could finally piss after sitting under the heat of the studio lights for hours on end. He needed a drink.

-

Liam scowled.

“Alright, what is it exactly you want from me? I’m not in the mood for small talk mate.” The man sighed. He ran a hand through his bleached blonde quiff before bringing it down to the back of his neck, looking ashamed.

“Honestly? I just want your input on asking out Harry. My gaydar went off earlier, but I figured I should ask if he was dating Louis or not before I made a move.” Liam located the door before he could think of how to answer such a question. He jerked sharply around the 90 degrees to the right, and grabbed the man’s arm, dragging him with as he pushed into the men’s room, which for some godforsaken reason was on the other side of the building from the recording studio. He barely made it a foot inside.

-

Louis and Harry were making out against the sinks. Or rather, Louis was sat up on the counter and Harry was between his legs, his hands slipped up the back of Louis’ shirt and tightly gripping his waist. Louis was pressed so close that there was barely air between them, one hand groping Harry’s obvious bulge through his skinny jeans and the other on his jawline, his fingers tangled up in the curls as his thumb stroked circles in Harry’s flushed cheek. Their mouths moved in unison, and they were clearly unaware of the recent intrusion into the space.

The interviewer's mouth dropped open.

“Well, that answers that question..” Harry and Louis jerked back from each other. Louis’ hands pulled off, and one came down onto the counter to stop himself from falling off in shock as he swiped his fringe out of his face with the other. He pulled a sour face.

“What’r you doing here? Liam, seriously lad?” Liam stuttered, his face growing red as the realization of the situation he had just put them in dawned on him.

“I was trying to pee and he followed me in here!” Liam gestured widely at the bewildered looking man beside him.

“I didn’t know you guys were-” Louis cut him off with a quick eyebrow raise. He started to speak, his eyes narrowing into a glare.

“What was he asking you anyways? Answers what question? What exactly did you tell him!”

The man coughed, and all eyes moved to him.

“I wanted to ask Harry out to dinner. I was asking Liam here if you two were dating, since I’ve heard rumors and I didn’t want to intrude. Obviously, that isn’t something to worry about now.” Louis glare deepened, and he moved a hand onto Harry’s chest, his fingers curling around the edge of the open blouse that lay there.

“We’re married!” The man scoffed. Harry suddenly moved, finally pulling his hands out of Louis’ shirt and bringing them up into the air by his face. He pointed to the many rings littering his fingers.

“One for every anniversary!” The man looked even more skeptical. Louis butted in.

“We had the ceremony when he was 18 and I was 20,” he grinned, his eyes crinkling up at the edges from the memory. Incredulously, the man let out a short laugh.

“What 18 year old would get married?!” Harry looked slightly offended.

“Well, we had been living together for 2 years at that point, and I’ve always known I wanted to settle down with him.” The interviewer balked.

“What parent lets her 16 year old move in with someone! What the hell!” Louis stifled a giggle in Harry’s shoulder, nuzzling along his collarbone before he spoke up.

“We met and started dating long distance two years before that, at a music competition. Anne, his mum, loves me. When I asked, she was more than willing to let me take care of her son in the big bad city that is London.” Harry’s dimples popped as the man’s jaw dropped.

“You fell in love with him as a 14 year old? And you’re still together now??” Harry’s face took on a taunting air.

“What, jealous?” Louis looked down disapprovingly from his position against the mirror and reached under Harry’s shirt, giving his left nipple a twist. Harry winced.

“What was that forrrrrr!” Louis gave him a look.

“Be nice. And it couldn’t have hurt that bad.” Harry’s look of pain turned into a small smirk, and his hand came down to Louis’ hip, drifting slightly before he gave the top of his ass a squeeze.

“That’s the one from last night..” Louis slapped a hand to Harry’s mouth, effectively shutting him up. It was quiet for a few seconds before the tip of Harry’s tongue came into view between Louis’ fingers and a muffled “Hi” was heard.

-

Liam sighed. He needed to get back to the hotel, pack, and take a quick nap before they had to take the trip to the airport in 5 hours and take the jet the quick hour and a half flight to Adelaide for tomorrow night’s tour date.

“As much fun as it is to listen to you two saps flirt, I’ve gotta get back. I’ll leave you to it.” He gave everyone in the room a tired smile before pulling the door open and moving back out into the hallway in search of Zayn.

-

He trolled through the hallways, calling his boyfriend’s name.

“Zayn! ZaAynnnn! I know you’re back here somewhere! Come on, we’ve got to get back to the room!” He heard a faint shout from a nearby door, and turned the knob, walking straight into Niall’s dressing room.

Zayn was sprawled out on Niall’s couch, the aforementioned boy being busy pulling a clean shirt on.

“I was waiting for you. Just let me get my shoes on.” Zayn sat up and stood vertical, slipping a little in his socks on the laminated floor. He grabbed his vans from where they sat in a pile against the wall and shoved them on, his heels catching and fighting to get in. Liam moved forward toward him and offered out his arm as a support.

“If you weren’t so impatient and actually untied your laces, you wouldn’t have this problem.” Zayn gave an offended snort, but took the offered help. He finally got his foot in and bent down to grab his jacket, before pulling Liam into a hug.

“Missed you this afternoon,” he whispered. Liam smiled and pecked his lips, answering with a

“Let’s go, Silly.”

-

The taxi pulled up in front of the hotel the band was staying at while in Melbourne. Zayn leaned forward to pay the driver as Liam started to get out. He stepped onto the curb, giving the other a minute. Zayn finished with a smile, and Liam held out a hand to help him out of the car. He stepped down, and they made their way up to the 14th floor where they were staying in the high-rise celeb-private hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)) feedback is welcome!


	3. Hotel, Adelaide, Night of February 16/17th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the hotel, the night before the Adelaide show. Zayn and Liam's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT  
> skip if necessary  
> \--  
> I've only ever written smut once before, so sorry if this is awful
> 
> Because this is an established relationship where sex is common, consent is certain situations is implied. Please note that this is a work of fiction where the author knows how the characters are thinking and feeling. In real life situations, always verbally ask your partner for their consent before doing anything.

With a deep sigh, Zayn lay back against the pillows on the huge bed in the room he and Liam had been assigned to in their Adelaide hotel.  
He checked his phone: 1am. Where was Liam? After they had finally checked in at 11pm, Liam had left Zayn to unpack while he he talked Niall into practicing tomorrow's setlist with him.  
*today's? oh god, it was tuesday!*  
He should have been back an hour ago. Zayn had waited up since then, resigning himself to watch TV on the couch that was also in their room. But the cushions were lumpy, and the blanket was scratchy, and Liam had gotten him all worked up on the plane. Zayn had tried to pull Liam back into the restroom on their jet for quick handjobs, but he had whispered Zayn promises of what they would do once they got back to the hotel and Zayn had reluctantly relented. And that left him here, alone in a dimly lit hotel room in the middle of night in just his pants, still painfully at half-mast hours later. What a sad life he led.

\--

He had just made up his mind that he was going to have to pull one off alone and just get into bed when the lock in the door finally, finally started to click and turn. He let out a breathe of relief he didn't even know he had been holding. Liam pushed into the room, closing it behind him with a soft thump and shoving a hand through his hair as he looked at the room before him.

"Finally!" Zayn wasted no time in standing up, stepping quickly the few feet across the floor to his boyfriend. He wrapped a hand around the back of Liam's neck, pulling him into a deep kiss as his other hand fell to the man's waist and his fingers pushed under the soft fabric of his shirt, stroking against the hot skin there. Liam fell into pace easily, his hands sliding up Zayn's chest and moving to grip his biceps. He walked the other back toward the bed, Zayn's knees bending against the mattress and his head falling just short of the pillows. 

Liam pulled off, stepping back to strip of his shoes and the day's clothes. As Zayn watched him, he scooted back to fit his head to the middle of the mass of pillows, pulling the sheets out from under him and shoving them lower towards the foot of the bed.  
Liam looked up at him from where he was pulling his socks off. "Here, hand me your pants, I need to go to the suitcase anyways."  
Zayn tugged them off and gave them up easily, giving Liam a little tired, thankful smile. He settled on to his back and sunk into the bed, taking a slow breathe. He was finally getting what he had wanted all day, and he was going to sleep soon. He smiled blissfully, closing his eyes for a moment. 

Liam grinned down at his boy from the side of the bed where he stood. "Aw, don't fall asleep on me now, not when it was just about to get fun!"  
Zayn opened his eyes and stretched out his arms, making grabby hands at him. Liam grabbed at his hands and Zayn pulled him down into himself.  
Liam laughed, muttering "you trapped the stuff between us..."

He slid his fingers out from Liam's, awkwardly peering down past his collar bones and shoving a hand between their chests. With a bit of effort and some uncomfort, he retrieved their little travel bottle of lube and a condom from where it was sticking to their skin, sweaty with the days work on it. He set the objects on the bed by their side.  
"Condom?" he trailed off, looking a little confused. Liam smiled apologetically.  
"We're in a hotel, remember? I don't want to make a mess of the sheets, imagine if we had to come back to this place someday and they remembered what we had done to the bed. Sorry baby, I know how much you like to be filled up by me." Zayn winced, images of the ensuing awkwardness clearly running through his head.  
"Right, yeah. I'll be okay, I've got you here with me and that's what matters most." Liam let out a chuckle and pulled one hand down from where they were tangled in Zayn's hair, elbows resting on the bed above his shoulders as he ran his fingers through the soft strands. He pushed his thumb and 2 forefingers against Zayn's lips.  
"Lick." He complied without question and sucked the tips into his mouth, looking the other directly in the eye and swirling his tongue for a second before before letting them free.  
Liam groaned. He pressed a quick kiss to his lips then kissed against the bottom of Zayn's jaw before pulling off and whispering "you're going to be the death of me, you're so gorgeous." He brought his hand down to Zayn's right nipple and started to squeeze and pull at it as he made his way down the other side of his neck, kissing and bitting as he went, careful to only leave hickies once he got beneath the edge of where most of the man's necklines lay. 

Zayn moaned beneath him, feeling himself beginning to fully harden again and feeling his boyfriend's hard-on pressing sharply into his hip. He let a hand go from where he was gripping at Liam's sides with his nails, probably leaving marks. He brought it to Liam's dick, running his thumb through his slit and against the rest of his fingers before wrapping his hand around it, slowly pushing all the way down to the base before dragging back up. He started to build up a rhythm, working his boyfriend to full hardness and twisting his wrist, pulling at his cock, making sure to brush against the slit with each pass. Zayn brushed his pointer finger against the thick vein running up along his dick, and Liam moaned, pulling off of the other's now abused-looking left nipple to bring their mouths together, hot, open, insistent.

\--

He bit at Zayn's lip before pulling off, dragging it with him between his teeth.  
"If you keep doing that, I'm going to come before I even get to fuck you," he panted. "Pull your legs up, I need to stretch you." Liam sat back on his haunches and reached across the bed for the lube, popping it open and squirting some onto 3 fingers, rubbing them together for a bit before looking back at the man beneath him. 

Zayn had pulled his knees up to his chest, his hands gripping his ankles and his thighs spread, his hole on display along with a hungry look on his face.  
"Get on with it then," he said, wiggling his ass a little. Liam stilled, transfixed for a minute, staring and wondering at how years later his boy could still make him feel so giddy. Then he leant forward on his knees, placing his left, non-lubed up hand above Zayn's hip and bringing the other downward, his first finger coming to Zayn's rim. 

"Ready?" Zayn nodded and Liam made eye contact, before slowly sliding it in up to the second knuckle. Zayn tensed then relaxed with a sigh, pushing forward at the intruding finger. "I'm still pretty open from yesterday, just don't be too rough." Liam muttered an okay before pushing his finger all the way in, swirling in a wide clockwise motion before switching directions, crooking it and pushing at the walls occasionally. Zayn let out a loud moan at the 4th crook, and Liam took the opportunity to slide another finger in beside the first. He twisted them, before starting a scissoring motion, stretching Zayn's hole while pumping in and out at a steady rhythm. A minute or two passed, before Zayn whined out a pitched "Come ON Li..." Liam smirked and pushed the third in, while leaning forward and closing his mouth around the tip of Zayn's dick, sucking at it to distract from the burn. He spread his fingers out from each other inside his boy, before bringing them back together and circling them, pushing deeper, looking for that spot-- Zayn's breathe hitched. "OH!" He moaned beneath him. Liam felt the lump against his fingers and pushed into it with his pointer finger, moving the others in a stretching motion. He hollowed his cheeks and sunk deeper onto Zayn's dick, feeling impossibly hard from watching the contortions of Zayn's face from every lick of his tongue and press of his fingers.  
"Ready, I-I'm ready!" Zayn gasped, breaking off with a moan. Liam hummed a note of assent around his shaft and pulled off, sliding his fingers out and leaning forward to meet his mouth to Zayn's, before muttering "God, you're hot" into it. 

He sat up on his knees, reaching with his dry hand and grabbing the condom from the sheets, handing it to zayn to open while he popped the cap on the lube bottle, squirting some into his hand and gliding it onto his cock. Zayn pulled it open and slid it down his length, before pulling back.  
"How do you want to do this?" Liam said, as he braced himself on his knees above Zayn. He peered down at him, and at his throbbing hole already just begging for him. Zayn promptly wrapped his legs around Liam's waist, pulling him closer. Liam got the message, oh he definitely got the message. This was one of his favorite positions. He leaned over, and grabbed a pillow from beside Zayn.  
"Lift up." Zayn lifted his hips, and Liam gently placed the pillow beneath them, elevating his ass into the air a bit. He squirted a bit of lube into his hand and rubbed it on the outside of his covered cock, just in case.  
"Ok now just get in me!" Zayn suddenly piped up. He tightened his calves around Liam. 

Liam raised an eyebrow, and, coming down in almost a push-up position above Zayn, pushed half way in. Zayn gasped. Liam waited a moment, and watched his features relax. Then he thrusted forward till he totally bottomed out, and kissed Zayn. He kissed back for a second, then mumbled for Liam to "go" into his mouth. Liam pulled almost completely out then pushed back in again with force. It knocked Zayn's breathe out, and his hands came flying up to clutch at his back. Liam started to build up a steady rhythm, but not too fast as he was still trying to get the right angle, switching aim slightly with every thrust. His tip brushed something, and he thought he knew. He pulled out and then back in again quickly, and his cock rammed into Zayn's prostate. Zayn let out a breathy whine. A smile lit Liam's face, and he quickly started to build up speed, hitting Zayn's spot dead on every time. With every hit Zayn would moan louder, till there seemed to be almost constant sound coming out of him. Liam thrusted particularly hard, and Zayn's back arched off the bed, his walls clenching around Liam and a wail coming from his throat. Liam's breath caught and his hips stuttered, he brought his mouth down onto Zayn's capturing him in a messy kiss, they were moving too fast for it to be much but teeth.  
"God, are you close?" Liam said as he pushed back up onto his hands, his head hovering above Zayn's. " I'm gonna come soon, I'm not sure how much longer I can last."

Zayn managed a nod, and pulled Liam farther into him with his ankles, clenching around him, wanting him impossibly closer. Liam moaned at the sensation but pressed forward, doing his best to thrust even harder and faster than he had previously. He pounded into Zayn, a hand coming down to wrap around his dick and pull him towards orgasm. Zayn went ridged at that, all his muscles tightening, then came with a shout. With the feeling of Zayn suddenly surrounding him even tighter and the image before him, Zayn's cum spraying up at him, Liam thrusted once more and came hard into Zayn beneath him. Zayn went pliant, closing his eyes and feeling Liam's dick pulse inside him, the hot cum filling up. It was nice, even if the cum was going into the condom and not into him. He still felt claimed, he was still Liam's. Liam was still his. 

Liam collapsed above him, burrowing his face into the crook of Zayn's neck. He lay there for a minute or two, his eyes closed. Then with a reluctant sigh, he sat up and lifted his hips, pulled out of the man beneath him, and sat back on the bed between Zayn's legs where they had fallen around him. He pulled the condom off, and tied it off, then dragged himself out of bed.  
"Stay there," he whispered, "I got you." Zayn smiled.

\--

The door opened from the adjoining bathroom and light poured out into the darkness of the room, making Zayn open his eyes from where he was starting to drift. Liam walked across to him, a damp towel in his hand. He leaned on the bed over Zayn, wiping at the come that had spilled on his stomach and chest, starting to dry in his chest hair. Once he finished, he pulled back again and walked, slowly but surely, back to the bathroom. He put the towel in the sink and Zayn heard him turn the water on, then shut it off again. Everything was silent for a moment, then the light flickered off and Liam came again into the now almost pitch black room. He crossed the carpet almost soundlessly, and slipped into the opposite side of the bed from Zayn, pulling the covers up around them. Zayn turned, rolling into Liam and nuzzling into his shoulder, an arm going out and around his chest. Liam tilted his chin down, finding Zayn's forehead in the barely-there light and pressing a kiss to it, then one to his hair. He wrapped an arm around his boy, dragging him closer. All was good.

They were both exhausted and sleep came easy to the two men. It couldn't have been three minutes before Liam felt Zayn's breathes even out against his arm, and he was out soon after. Neither of them noticed the sun just beginning to peak out from beyond the horizon in the distance, hidden behind thick curtains in the window; waves of sleep and post-orgasm haze surrounding them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a long fic. (probably close to 100 chapters) In an effort to be as canon compliant as possible, this fic is going to be mostly happy for the next ten-ish chapters. This is intended as a set up to the story, to get readers in the swing of things and truly understanding the situation and dynamic. Anything not specifically stated is implied to match the canon. After that, you'll get your angst. All triggers will of course be warned in the chapter notes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Please give me feedback on how I'm doing! Updated will come when my mental health is good enough for writing to be possible for me. Please be patient, love you all xx.


End file.
